Young Again
by Sarah Slutz
Summary: Imagine this: Perverted and totally desperate for chicks Master Roshi mysteriously turning young again in a blink of an eye... It would be like the demon being set lose in the land of the babes, right? Perhaps the answer will surprise you...


**Young Again **

**By: Sarah Slutz**

_Thanks ChibiGoku for betaing!_

Girls, they are everywhere. With those tantalizing clothes, those sweet lips, those swinging hips... simply looking at them was delightful. The hentai magazines... gosh! They must have been a gift sent directly from Kami-sama down to the earthlings.

I've always adored girls, women, chicks, babes. They are my obsession, my weakness, my desire. Why do those waspish waists have to tease so much? I don't know. I don't care. I just love chicks. They're wonderful!

Am I rambling a bit? I can never tell. But women are plain sexy, and here comes one of those luscious creatures. Wide hips, shapely legs.

I'll ask her what time it is and bend for a look.

"Excuse me, lady, can you tell me what time it is?"

"Certainly, it is a quarter to three."

Polite young girl. Her neck line is delightfully low.

"Erm, thanks young lady."

She noticed me looking. And drooling. Uh oh.

"Why you little..."

Slap!

Ouch.

That kind of hurt. With a red mark on my face, I continue walking along, not daring to take innocent peeks, afraid another crazy chick will slap me. I walk into a clothing store and can't help noticing the woman's underwear section. I drool a little, staring at a huge bra.

I gaze at the pretty saleslady longingly.

"Is there anything I can do for you sir?"

_Certainly, babe. Just take off those clothes. You look kind of overheated. I can help you with that. _

"Yes, would you mind trying this bra on? I need to see if it would fit my granddaughter."

Oops, I guess that wasn't very convincing, especially since my eyes are irresistibly drawn to her neckline and there is still some saliva on my chin.

Slap!

Ouch.

The previous red mark hasn't disappeared yet. Just my luck.

I get out of the store under the glare of the saleslady. Why can't a girl simply accept a nice comment?

Or a touch?

I sigh and continue walking. I still haven't bought the capsule I needed.

Ah, finally home, in my comfortable chair, looking at the beautiful sea. I already thumbed through all my porno magazines. I guess I gotta send Krillin to town for some more. Too bad that beauty pageant won't be until tomorrow.

I take a pen and a paper and write, "Buy more porno" and place it on the refrigerator with a magnet.

There, now I won't forget it. Not that I ever would, of course, but life in this planet can get rough some times with so many Saiya-jins and their brats running around.

Suddenly, in the distance, I see a water car closing into the shore. It must be Lunch. Beautiful, voluptuous Lunch.

I examine the car that's coming closer and closer and, relieved, I notice her hair is dark blue and not blond. She lands on the shore and converts the water car into a capsule. She bends low to scoop the capsule from the sand.

She is wearing those tiny shorts with that low neck lined blouse that leaves her midriff bare.

I feel my pulse quicken.

Calm down.

_Calm Down_.

_CALM DOWN!!!! _

I continue salivating over her as she walks in my direction.

"Konichi wa Kamesennin."

_Come here babe and warm me up. _

"Konichi wa Lunch. What's for dinner?"

_Coward. Weakling. You'd never dare touch her. _

She walks to the kitchen with a bag full of groceries. She bends down again, showing me her round, full buttocks.

Involuntarily, my hand shoots forward.

Lunch sneezes.

Oh _dear_ Kami.

"What were you trying to do, old man? You PERVERT!!!!!!!!!!"

She looks at my outstretched arm, which somehow hasn't followed my orders of withdrawing.

She pulls out a weapon from nowhere and begins shooting at me.

_Run for your life, you fool! _

I begin running. I can't believe she sneezed at that precise moment.

_Rotten luck. _

I wish I were young again. Getting chicks would be easier.

Meanwhile ...

High up in his tower, Kami-sama looks at the world below. He doesn't turn around when he feels Mr. Popo's presence behind him.

"Mr. Popo," he voices out with no intonation.

"_Hai_ Kami-sama?"

"When was the last time I did something fun?" he asks in that same dispassionate voice.

Mr. Popo stood there, not knowing what to reply. Kami-sama has been spending a lot of time with Kaio-sama lately --too much time, if someone would care about asking him--, and he wonders what is his concept of _fun_ now.

"Just as I thought. Maybe it is time to do something... fun."

Mr. Popo stares at his master and then turns away to water the flowers. Shrugging mentally, he decides god is god after all.

Down here again...

I finally sleep after five hours of running away from Lunch. She finally sneezed again and returned to the house, shocked to see supper hadn't been prepared yet. My dreams are filled with women. Morning comes and I wake up slowly, the light filtering through my room's curtains. As soon as I open my eyes, I feel extremely energized. Strange! I haven't felt so vigorous in years.

Yawning, I scratch my head. My fingertips and fingernails feel some really strange texture growing on my scalp… Wait a minute… What can it be?… Can it be?…

Hair?

Hair??!!!???

_Hair??!!!??? _

I pull on it. It is real. I run to the bathroom and look at myself in the mirror.

And faint.

A while later, I slowly come to my senses, the world whirling around my head. Slowly, I stand up and look at myself again.

Nope, no dream. I am truly about a hundred years or more younger.

A grin spreads on my face.

This is great!!

By hell! Young again! I don't care how it happened. This is just too cool.

I jump up and run around the room, feeling joyous. I can't remember the last time I had felt so healthy and young.

Running around of the house, I grab some clothes. Decisions. What do I do now?

I can go to a cool disco later. Right now, walking around town will be enough. I'll go to some place with lots of chicks hanging out.

The mall is just the perfect place.

My first worry has to be clothes. I look grimly at my Hawaiian shirt and shorts. How out of season! These aren't the type of clothes that will impress anyone, not to mention babes.

Grabbing a capsule, I throw it and get inside the water car.

A few hours later, I find myself in front of a full-length mirror, clad in faded blue jeans, a black sweater with the Dragon ball logo, Nike tennis shoes and new, sharp sunglasses. I've spent a sizable portion of my savings on expensive clothes. It doesn't matter, though… The saleslady is watching me appraisingly, so it is definitely worth it.

Never in my life had I dressed in jeans, and the tough fabric feels warm against my legs. Now I am ready to get some babes!

_Yeah. _

I wink at the saleslady and tell her in the huskiest voice I can manage, "I will buy these jeans and sweater I have on." The saleslady smiles coyly at me, and I gulp, suddenly feeling strange, my palms perspiring. "Isn't there anything _else_ you want?" She said while subtly shifting her weight to show off her hips.

I swallow a sudden lump in my throat and stare at her hips. Her hands move to rest on them, circling her tiny waist. She smiles again, showing me her even, white teeth. I look at her, wanting to say something, anything.

Her offer was obvious. I smile back and all of the sudden; I feel my heart beginning to beat extremely hard. My palms begin sweating and I feel exceedingly light-headed. It suddenly hit me... I don't have the guts to do anything at all! Cursing myself, I stuff my hand inside the Hawaiian shorts dangling from my hand and take out some bills. "No, thanks, that will be all," I croak. Practically running out of the store, I curse my cowardliness.

Gulping a big breath of air, I decide to try it again. It had been a slip, a simple mistake... after all, I'm not used to being seduced instead of seducing. Or trying to seduce. I spot a group of girls looking at me out of the corner of my eye. I turn to face them fully and grin. They are all standing against one of the dozens of balconies showing off the view of the rest of the mall. It is time for some serious action.

I approach them and stand directly besides them, then I smile at them again and pretend to be looking at the view for a while then I gaze at them and say, "How are all of you pretty girls?" They giggle and I suddenly have to swallow my nervousness.

What is wrong with me?

One of the girls smiles at me, making my legs feel weak. Blond, curly hair tumbling down her back, her mini dress clinging to her curvaceous body. In a sweet voice she croons, "My name is Candy, she is Barbie, the red head is Pepper and she is Sally," while pointing at each of her friends.

Candy? Barbie? Pepper? What is this, a silly name parade?

"My name is Roshi," I tell them, grinning. The red head smirks. "Nice name," she comments in a voice as sultry as her lips.

I lean on the railing at my side, trying to look casual. The girl named Barbie inches closer to me, making me wish I had used more of that cologne I bought. Barbie smelled like wild flowers and smoke.

The girl places her hand on my arm and I stare at that point of contact. She looks into my eyes intimately, as if we have a special secret just between us. I blink, my heart racing.

In a very husky alto Barbie gushes enthusiastically, "We were planning to go to a disco later tonight. Would you like to go with us?" She leans closer and I feel myself blush.

Never in my life have I felt so uncomfortable.

I stiffen and try to inch away, but Sally, the sexy brunette leans to my other side and enthuses, "Or do you want to go with just one of us? Who do you like best, Roshi?" I looked at each one of them and decide Sally is the sexiest.

With her tight fitting black jeans, her little, tight spandex blouse that lets her midriff bare and her perfect oval face, she is definitely the sexiest. I swallow again, not believing she is looking at me _that_ way.

I feel the irresistible urge to run away from her smile, her slim waist. I wriggle free and look at my watch theatrically. "Sorry, I have plans tonight. Look at the time! I got to run." Fighting my desire to do exactly that, I force myself to walk away in a moderate speed.

When I was no more than ten steps away, I hear Barbie say to Sally, "You scared him away, you twerp!"

"I did not! Your bad perm must have had disgusted him."

"My perm is perfectly okay!"

I've decided one thing. I can't resist being seduced by women. I am too used to doing so myself and being rejected in the way.

I have to do one more test, if I fail, I don't know what I will do with my new, young image. I haven't really thought of why I am young again. I've been too busy feeling elated. Either someone has made a wish with the Dragonballs or Kami-sama has played a joke on me.

A fun, but strange joke.

I don't feel amused at all.

Cracking my knuckles decisively, I decide to do the "ask for the time" test. I choose a slim looking girl with an extremely short skirt. I smiled lopsidedly at her and ask, "What time is it?"

She doesn't seem to notice I already have a watch on. She speaks pleasantly and in a very sultry voice, she tells me, "It is eleven forty two."

I bend forward a little and stare at her neckline. She notices, but instead of slapping or glaring at me, her smile gets wider and she places her hands on her hips and bends slightly forward so I could have an ever better view.

I hadn't expected such a response. She shifts her position and asks me in a whisper that makes my pulse quicken, "Why is such handsome man walking all alone in the mall?" I smile back shakily and shrug, feeling tongue-tied, not daring to look directly at her gray eyes.

As fast as I can, I stammer, "Erm, Thanks for the time." And run away.

I had just failed my own test with flying colors. Three gorgeous young women in tight clothes had been more than pleasant to me, and I had run away. Walking briskly, I think about my wussiness.

I walk into a store and am relieved when I see the cashier is a man. I asked him for a phone and call Bulma. My memory is better than ever and I remember her phone number.

Bulma's voice was brittle, as if she had just woken up. Rich, spoiled girl.

"Yes, who is it?"

I have probably woken her up calling her, and she isn't in the mood of good manners. So be it.

I decide not to reveal my identity. My voice is as young as my body, she won't recognize me as Kamesennin. "I am a stranger to you, but I do know you. For your own sake, it's better that I don't give you my name."

Bulma paused and I know she is debating whether to continue the conversation or hanging up on me. Her curiosity gets the best of her. I grin to myself. I knew her curiosity would win.

"Ok Mr. Mysterious. What do you want?" Bulma asks bluntly.

I take a big breath, my body needs all the oxygen it can get in this moment. "I need to know if someone has used the Dragonballs recently. Last night or very early in the morning, actually."

Her shock was evident when she exclaims, "What the hell! Well…I aint' asking you how you know about them." I grin privately at her slang. "It's obvious they haven't been used because the sky hasn't darkened." I grin again at her sudden change to educated speech.

I slapped my forehead. D'uh. How can I be so stupid? Had I forgotten something so elemental? Shaking my head I thank her. "Thanks a lot."

"Yeah, whatever," Bulma answered hoarsely, sounding as if I wasn't welcome at all. "Don't ever call again if you aren't telling me your name. And I hope you realize that if you want to go for the Dragonballs, you'll never get them. There are some very dangerous people you would have all over you." And she hangs up on me.

I thank the salesman, trying to ignore a pretty girl that is entering the store.

It was time to have a serious talk with god.

Many hours and bumps later...

"Who do you think you are?"

"God," he replied unemotionally.

I glare at the green skinned creature. "I didn't give you permission to change me!" I scream at the Namekian god. Kami-sama just looks at me impassively. I am angry as hell. It was already 4:00 am, and I had parted at 12:00 in the afternoon. It doesn't matter that I am young again, climbing that thing is still extremely difficult!

"I thought you would like it. Besides, it was Kaio-sama's idea."

I blinked twice. That Kaio-sama has a stupid sense of humor. "Turn me back."

"Why?"

I reflect on it. Being young is great, I could begin training hard again, surpass Krilin. I could do a lot of things now, but, chicks would come to me… and I really want to chase them.

"I want to chase chicks," I tell him honestly. It is no use lying to god. He nods, looking amused.

The next morning...

My head is bald again. JOY!!! Now girls will run away again!

Going to where Lunch is, I shake a feather under her nose. When she sneezed, I squeezed her buttocks and run away, laughing as she tries to shoot me with her revolver.

Call me masochist, but I've never had so much fun.

The End


End file.
